Write something funny

Someone asked me to write something funny. I’m assuming ‘something funny’ is ‘hahaha funny’. Not weird ‘funny’ (eg: Something funny happened last nite. I thot I saw Johnny Depp in Subang but I don’t think it was him… —> example only… But I DO want to see Johnny Depp in Subang!). Anyhoos, this person suggested that I write something funny to entertain her miserable daily life. Let me just tell you something, it’s not easy to find something funny and write it down. Some people might get the joke, some don’t. Some jokes actually sounds better when you tell ’em to your friends rather than writing them down (but I think for Cat and Marina, our joke-level is so high, anything we write to each other is funny… Like the other day, Marina send me an SMS with the name ‘JORGE’ in it… HAHAHAHAHAH! Jorge!).

Ok… Since I don’t have anything funny to write for now (unless you think me almost pitam while buying cucumber and puking my heads off in the car yesterday funny), I’d like to share some funny stuff I read in Ellen Degeneres’s book.

… Sometimes the only way you can make yourself feel better is by putting other people down. And that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with that – whatever gets you through. “I’m not as fat as she is.” “Ihave more teeth than he has.” “Thank God I’m not as bone ugly as they are.” These are all affirmations. However, it’s best that when you’re in public you say this kind of affirmation to yourself. It can save you embarrassment and a black eye. These are silent affirmations… – Ellen Degeneres, taken from My Point… And I Do Have One –

See?! Some people might find that funny, while others might think ‘what a vain b***h!’. Who cares?!!! As long as I find them funny, you will have to pretend that they are funny too… Do not mess with an unstable pregnant woman!

I wanted to write more funny stuff but suddenly the lazy wave hit me write smack on the face. So, I’ll leave it to that for the day. Btw, my vah-jay-jay is still very ‘tender’ (whatever…). I’m still spotting, tho not all the time, when I walk too much or stand too long or lift up heavy stuff like the dumbbells or my cat… Again, whatever! I was bored yesterday, and I’m still bored today. If the doctor won’t give me clearance to go to work this Saturday, I’m gonna start taking hostages… So whoever wants to be my hostage (I serve good junk food and I have Guitar Hero for now – courtesy of my BIL), come and register your name here.

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